Retirement Poems

Works send-offs, family retirement parties, school leavers - all are perfect opportunities to stand up and deliver a personal poem, see some examples below...

This is an excerpt of a retirement speech that was written to send off a very left wing school teacher:

Relax! Fear not! And go and do all that you always wanted to!
Put back the queen upon the wall
It doesn't bother me at all!
Stiffen the arm and flex the cane
And beat the little brats again.
While every boy to us next year
Will not say anything but 'sir'!
No nonsense like your Christian name
Which covers all but him with shame

A proper dignity throughout shall reign:
O'Sullivan! Oh what a pain!
Anaesthetized we all shall be
In the Christmas term of '83
The patient school will then be numb
And every spirit deaf and dumb.

© Richard Elgood

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This is an excerpt of a speech that celebrated the departure of an entire sixth form:

I really shouldn't mention it
But some girls think some staff are fit
Tanya knows she shouldn't oughta
But secretly fancies Mr Horter.
And here's another teasing thought
Is Bruno doing what he ought?
Why all this burst of energy
To go and study Geography
With Mrs Parker one to one
What kind of work is getting done?
The oddest rumour came across
Jo Simpson chatting up Mrs Ross.
Sam Williams dreams of wedding bells
For her and Mr Stanley Wells
Of course we all could write a book
On Emma Carter and Mr Cook
And Helen Marlowe doesn't care who
Any of us blokes will do.

-----note there were many more lines about nearly all the sixth formers such was the excellent material provided

Conclusion?

These final lines are for you all
Let's look into the crystal ball
See what the future holds in store
See what St Johnson's has been for.
See who will rise and who will fail
Who'll drive a Rolls - who'll go to jail
Who'll turn out good, who'll end up bad?
Who'll be a Mum - and who a Dad.
Steady Elgood Steady Steady …
There's some that might be that already
Whatever Fate the future serves
Let each one get what he - or she - deserves.

© Richard Elgood

Examples are added to on a regular basis so if you like Richard's work, please come again, subscribe to our mailing list, or click below to buy a retirement poem...

Buy a Personalised Poem

"Sending someone off has never been so easy - the retirement poem worked so well that I wasn't a quivering wreck by the end for the first time in year! Many thanks." Jonathan, Ealing.

"Splendid stuff - retirement speeches are normally dull and go over the same thing again and again, your poem gave me something extra was a joy to deliver :-)" Marcus, Manchester.

Retirement Poems