Christening Poems
Express your happiness of the new addition to your life with a tailor made Christening Speech (and you'll probably get carried away and celebrate many other aspects of your friends and family at the same time, just like these people did!)
Below are two example Christening Poems/ Christening Speeches:
For Emily
LABOUR WARD
The mind of Stuart when he scored
Was hardly on the labour ward.
If he knew then what he knows now,
His passion might have ebbed somehow.
But being loving, good and true
Decided he would see it through.
The doctor rang, "The time is near
It's really time that you were here."
Though Stuart loved his Tanya so
He didn't really want to go
He didn't want to be a dad,
He'd rather go out with the lads.
Stuart is the kind of bloke
Who likes a pint, who likes a joke.
Is he really meant to be
Cut out for paternity?
He breathed in hard-this was no fun
He had to do what must be done,
His spirits were depressed and lowly
[He drove to the hospital rather slowly]
He was as strong as strong as he could be
He saw a sign "Maternity"
His legs like wobbly jelly were
But he went in to be with her.
But where was Tanya?.....all he saw
Were plain and ugly, not like her
(It was a miracle most rare
That that lot ever got in there!)
One ghastly face, washed out and pale
About to enter Death's dark vale-
A piteous sight, so woebegone,
Made Stuart shudder and move on……
But then a voice he thought he knew
Muttered feebly, " I love you!"
He turned, he looked, he must declare
"My God it's Tanya lying there!"
She really did look pretty rough
And Stuart felt he'd had enough:
Was this some kind of martyrdom?
O no ! The worst was still to come!
The midwife held the scissors out
"Take these, for you have heard no doubt
It's tradition in all labour wards
For the lady's man to cut the chords……"
We won't go into everything
But Stuart's resolve was weakening
"Fetch me a ladder", he cried fainting,
"I'd rather do some bloody painting !"
CHANGE OF HEART
Now Stuart sees- some 5 months on
A sister loved by Cameron:
The brother feels no jealousy,
There is no sibling rivalry.
And look, see there! Those cute blonde curls!
She is the prettiest of girls-
Divine -beyond divinity-
The loveliest ever Emily!
You cannot wish it all undone,
And now you might want more than one!
O.K….Just one- we'll leave it there
But we all know you really care.
You know what every father knows,
The pride inside that warms and glows,
You understand paternal care,
I've heard you passionately declare……
"I'll teach her and it won't be long
Before she knows what's right, what's wrong,
I'll never let her after dark
Go hanging out in Beveridge Park;
She'll only go with boys I've met,
Do nothing that she will regret:
No sex, no drugs, no rock n' roll-
She'll go to church to save her soul,
And I'll make absolutely sure
She will abide by every law,
In every virtue good and true,
Like Tanya and like me and you……! "
..I'm not so sure how "good" we are
But it shows the love of her papa,
And all along we knew he would
Embrace his child and fatherhood.
TANYA
Let's not forget amid all this
The rock that Tanya always is:
We owe her everything and more,
We all must pay our debts to her!
While Stuart's off to France again
Stocking up with more champagne,
She doesn't grumble doesn't grouse,
She is the pillar of the house.
Let her pursue her dream and stir
Up other mothers just like her
And all meet in a padded cell
And jump and scream and shout and yell
"You men ! You haven't got a clue
Just what we women have to do!"
And let off every kind of steam
Just once a week---O let her dream!
EMILY
But as we all so rightly know
There's only one star of this show,
And Stuart, Tanya, Robbie Burns-
All of them must wait their turns
Cause first off all is Emily,
To her alone the toast should be…..
I give you Rose, not the drink,
We have the best champagne I think,
To Rose Gilmore-Emily,
Welcome to the family,
And with this toast may we ensure
She's blessed in life for evermore!
© Richard Elgood
Examples are added to on a regular basis so if you like Richard's work, please come again, subscribe to our mailing list, or click below to buy a christening poem...
Buy a Personalised Poem
Frank & Linda
Two lovely little new born babes
"Linda" - a toast they drank
And just along the labour ward
They celebrated "Frank"
And soon they went their separate ways
Into the world so new
And Linda went in girly pink
And Frank he went in blue
Now Linda was the model child
"And did just as she should!"
It showed up at their Christening
"Where Frank was not so good!"
Linda in the hollowed place
A perfect angel seemed
"But when the vicar baptized me
My goodness how I screamed."
The vicar laughed and mother smiled
And no-one seemed to mind
And everybody's joy but mine
Was deep and unconfined.
The years went by, the children grew
And reached the age of six
A Birthday party for each one
Each loving mother fixed
"While Linda's friends were awfully nice
We played the party games"
Frank's friends were horrid little brats
And drove his Mum insane
On reaching 18 years they both
Had reached that certain age
When going out to Clubs like Gas
Was all the trendy rage
In Gas our Frank and Linda met
And did no further search
Linda said "Oh yes I do"
They married in a Church
They lived at first in wedded bliss
It didn't last for long
Though Linda loved Frank very much
Things started to go wrong.
Frank had set a factory up
Making metal plates
The factory grew cause Frank worked hard
Frank often came home late
At work he was a hard, hard boss
"Work harder - DO NOT SHIRK"
And Stan the foreman and my mates
Did all the dirty work!
While everybody slaved for Frank
- His workers and his wife -
He next discovered a new love
A new love in his life.
Golf has taken over Frank
He played it heart and soul -
To strike with many different clubs
A ball into a hole.
And he was very good at it
And thought it rather fun
"I say Good shot - did you see that?"
"It was a hole in one!"
All this time poor Linda stayed
Alone in their big house
She shopped and cooked and hovered up
As timid as a mouse
She kept the house immaculate
She dusted here and there
She put a wash on every day
And ironed his underwear
Then after golf it was fast cars
One went extremely fast
But round the block at 95
And Frank breathed his last
They laid the body down to rest
The vicar said a prayer
Not many tears were shed because
There were not many there!
And even Linda didn't show
A sign of any grief
For deep inside
The good wife sighed
A sign of great relief
The lawyer read the dead man's will
Her joy now knows no bounds
For Frank had left his "Loving wife"
A cool five million pounds!
One more joy now caps it all
Cause now at last she can
Do what I always wanted to
Go off and marry Stan".
© Richard Elgood
Examples are added to on a regular basis so if you like Richard's work, please come again, subscribe to our mailing list, or click below to buy a christening poem...
Buy a Personalised Poem
"What a great idea - to put what I wanted to tell everyone into a Christening Speech, and you were right I did go into a lot more detail than I ever thought I would. Thank you very much for all your help."
Simon, Ascot
"Christening Poems are so often dull and go on and on - but our Christening Speech had everyone in fits of laughter yet still said everything we wanted to."
Helen, Cardiff
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