Birthday Poems

A special birthday message or a stand up birthday speech, the below were very well received

This is a small extract of a poem written for a daughters 21st Birthday Party:

There's one of my particular friends
Who tries to lead me to bad ends
The one who leads me most to drink
Emily Andrews! Her! I think
One one Alcudian holiday
She nearly led us all astray
One night returning from a bar
She took her clothing off too far
With only make up on her face
A car of Spanish lads gave chase
Into a hotel - with action swift -
And hid in terror in the lift.

A few months back some time in May
We celebrated Tom's birthday:
Dominic and Simon and Tom too
Went clubbing and they'd had a few.

They went to go but oh dismay
Two bulky bouncers blocked the way
And in a burly voice " Don't move
That upper garment - please remove"

They'd seen a bulge - it made them pause -
Could extra manhood be the cause?
"That bulge?" "Oh, I'm just over dressed!"
The bouncers were not much impressed.

© Richard Elgood

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A small extract of a birthday poem written to celebrate two birthdays on the same day:

Although this seems just Helen's day
I'd like to take you back to May
1916 - But there's more
Another May 4 years before.

For then my grandpa - never known -
Did not retire to bed alone.
What potent aphrodisiac
(or milkman in a dirty mac).
Made little babies start to grow
In those 2 Mays so long ago?

For nine months later mother came
And 4 years on was just the same
On Feb 1 another birth
And little Nell is on the earth

Of all the months Feb is the worst
But we're still thankful for the first.

© Richard Elgood

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To My Mum

Have we all come from far and wide
To celebrate a birth? Or bride?
To mourn a funeral perhaps we came
Or watch the Blues - it's just the same

NO! None of these delights did draw
Us all together now once more
What light then shone and drew us forth
Attracting us from South and North?
The light that casts so bright a dazzle
Is the wife of Uncle Basil!

So on this most auspicious date
We've come here to congratulate
My and your sister and your Mum
Who's totted up a total sum
Of years that take her closer heaven
The figure? Is it ten times seven.

Seventy years through thick and thin!
(But then there always was the gin)
And earlier on she had her fling
Developing a tennis swing:
The kind of game she played looked bad
But drove the stylish youngsters mad
Who cursed the hostile Fates above
And lose 6-0 6-0 6-0

© Richard Elgood

Examples are added to on a regular basis so if you like Richard's work, please come again, subscribe to our mailing list, or click below to buy a brithday poem...

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"I've always wanted to give a proper, flowing birthday speech, and now I can, I cant wait to deliver it!" Susan, Bracknell.

Birthday Poems